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Anal dilation or anal training refers to training your sphincter muscles and the skin for maximum flexibility. Anal training and dilation protocol will also help prevent anal fissures. If anal fissures persist, there may be a need for surgical correction or in-office physical therapy. Visit our NYC office or give us a call for more information.

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If you’re wondering how to stretch your anus safely or just want to learn more about what anal stretching is, Bespoke Surgical has created a complete guide to answer all your questions. Our anal stretching guide will teach you how to stretch your asshole safely without risking an anal fissure.

Bespoke Surgical’s elite NYC anal surgery practice provides hand-tailored, expert care for every patient. If you have more questions or concerns involving your anal stretch, consider contacting us today.

What is Anal Training & Anal Stretching?

Just like working out any part of your body, sphincter muscles also need to be trained for maximum flexibility. This anal training process, also called anal stretching or dilation, often involves the act of opening, widening, or stretching the anus with tools called anal dilators or anal expanders. It is often done after surgical procedures on the anus to restore the area to its normal state or as a method to prevent anal fissures. Anal stretching can make passing stool and/or sexual activity more comfortable and is imperative to both functionality, along with the aesthetics desired. To learn how to stretch your sphincter muscles and anal muscles, keep reading. If you’re new to anal intercourse, consider checking out Bespoke’s Science of Anal Sex blog post.


What Is The Purpose Of Anal Training & Stretching?

Most people have a difficult time with complete sphincter relaxation, during both defecation and intercourse. The goal of anal stretching is to train the muscles to be able to easily relax and loosen up when needed. Being able to relax the sphincter muscles is especially important if you partake in anal play or anal sex (bottoming).

Anal training and following a dilation protocol is also important for the prevention of anal fissures. If you are unable to fully relax, this could increase your chances of tears and fissures which could lead to pain and a possible need for surgery.


How Can The Anal Sphincter Muscles Relax?

Understanding anal anatomy and muscular contractility is a must in sexual education, all in the hopes of long lasting and powerful experiences. Unfortunately, the knowledge of both how to relax your anus and how to correctly play have been lacking in most educational curriculums and even in the majority of physicians’ offices. As it pertains to anything in anal play, one must think of the sphincter as having two major functions:

  • contractility
  • relaxation


Graphic of the anal sphincter muscles

In order to learn how to stretch your anus muscles, you have to understand how they work. The muscles within the entire anal sphincter, independently and together as a whole, are responsible for the functions of contracting, pushing out, and squeezing or pulling things in. Learning how to control both of these functions will ultimately allow you to relax your sphincter during anal intercourse.


How Effective Is Anal Training?

Anal training and stretching is extremely effective if done properly. This will take a lot of practice and an understanding of anal anatomy and muscular contractility. One is sorely (no pun intended) mistaken to think one can just shove a penis, toy, butt plug, or other object into the anus and have it be an effective method of anal dilation.

This is why the team at Bespoke Surgical has created an anal dilation protocol that will expertly guide you on your anal stretching and dilation journey. One part of understanding how to stretch the sphincter muscles is simply repetition. The reason this protocol is effective is because it creates a neural mechanism from the brain to the anus to improve that relaxation when called upon.


How Does Anal Training Work?

Learning once how to stretch your asshole won’t guarantee it works every time. It takes time and patience for anal training to work. In order to have a fruitful encounter, while minimizing injury, dilation is key both before you ever start engaging anally and also in between the times of when you do engage. Like any other muscle, learning how to relax your sphincter muscle will require constant exercise. If it doesn’t experience that relaxation control, it will go back to being too tight, accompanied by painful experiences or even worse, anal fissures, hemorrhoids, and the like.


How to Stretch Your Anus: Bespoke Surgical’s Anal Dilation Protocol

Below, we’ve created an anal stretching guide to help you learn how to stretch your anus. Before starting the anal stretching protocol, Dr. Goldstein recommends obtaining anal dilators. Try purchasing an anal dilation trainer kit, which usually comes with 3-4 sizes that increase in both length and girth.

Dr. Goldstein recommends the following process for starting anal stretching:

  • Choose a convenient time and place, such as before or during a shower.
  • Use the smallest dilator first and a significant amount of water or toy-approved lubrication.
  • Over the course of 3-5 minutes, insert the dilator about 4-5cm into the anus, right beyond where the muscle lies.
  • It will take 4-6 times to insert because those muscles need time to relax.
  • If met with resistance, pull the dilator out, re-lubricate, and do it again.
  • Even if you think you can take more, still start with the smallest dilator and use consistently for a week or two before graduating to the next size up and then repeat the same process over the subsequent weeks.

One may feel discomfort during the rectal dilation process – this is completely normal, but cease use if you witness any pain. It takes time and the key is more mental control of how one can contract or relax and learn to control like any other muscle we have. If one has ever topped someone and they can completely open their anus, it’s not due to looseness, but rather more about anal control. If any issues arise during this process, please make an appointment to see Dr. Goldstein so that he can help get you on the right path. There may be other factors at play, which are limiting one’s ability to successfully bottom.

For more information, read about anal botox and how it may help move the dilation process along.


Anal Dilation Procedures At Bespoke Surgical

If anal fissures persist, even after you have tried the dilation protocol at home, or you are finding that you may need extra help with the process, please make an appointment to see Dr. Goldstein. While the at-home training should be an effective method of anal fissure prevention, there may be a need for surgical correction or in-office physical therapy.


Frequently Asked Questions About Anal Stretching

What preparation is needed for anal stretching?

No prep is needed for anal stretching other than having a normal bowel movement. Setting the stage for success includes a positive mood and mindset, as well as your surroundings. Dr. Goldstein usually recommend doing your exercises in the shower, while warm or hot water is running or right before a shower, both of which can help aid in relaxation. Be sure to have all of your supplies ready before you get started and remember that this includes lots of lube (this is paramount).

What positions work best for anal training?

There aren’t any specific positions that work best for anal stretching and training. What’s more important is what feels comfortable for you. Understanding your anatomy, with all its internal angles and curves, sets the stage for successful dilating and play.

You’ll want direct, straight-in access, paying attention to your sphincter muscles upon entry. This means that it may be best lying on your back or on all fours and using a repetitive motion, going in-and-out, until you hit resistance. This controlled pressure, with continued gaping, will allow for the relaxation we need that will assist in anal stretching. You may need a bit of trial and error to see what feels right. I also encourage you to switch things up because we want to simulate future play as best we can and sometimes that takes on a mind of its own–or many different positions.

Is anal stretching permanent? How often do you need to dilate?

Unfortunately, anal stretching is not permanent and anal training is a continuous process. You should make these exercises a weekly ritual. You have two options: engaging in anal sex or playing with butt plugs or dilators 2-3 times a week to dilate. As you get more advanced, you should be using your butt plugs or anal dilators for both stretching and tightening the dilation will keep you ready to bottom, while the contractions will keep the muscles and skin in check. Dr. Goldstein’s protocol allows for risk and injury prevention, as well as pleasurable engagement, alone or with others.

What happens if the anus is stretched?

When your anus stretches, the ring of muscle known as the sphincter opens. If it stretches further than the anal tissue is accustomed to, the tissue may tear, causing an anal fissure. This can happen during a hard bowel movement or rough intercourse, causing discomfort and occasionally bleeding. By training anal tissue with our dilator protocol, you can let your anal musculature grow accustomed to opening and closing consciously.

How can I stretch my anus better?

If you’re following our dilator protocol above, your anus should be stretched as much as needed. For those who want to maintain an optimally tight anus, one that is able to stretch enough to comfortably enjoy anal sex without losing pleasurable sensations (e.g. becoming too loose), then check out our Guide to Kegel Exercises for Men.

On days you’re not engaging in anal play or training anal tissue with our dilator protocol, try relaxing your abdomen then squeezing just your anus and pelvic floor muscles as if you were trying to stop urinating for about five to 10 seconds. Repeat that about five times a day.


The Bottom Line

Anal stretching can be a great way to gain control over your sphincter muscles and help you open up for both intercourse and defecation. Taking your time and following a strict protocol will prevent injury and help you train your anus faster.

If you have the opposite problem – a loose anus – we have a Guide to Tightening a Loose Anus and Gaining Sphincter Strength you can read for further details.

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Dr. Evan Goldstein, D.O.

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, NYC’s leading sexual health private practice. He received his osteopathic doctorate from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School in 2002 and completed his residency in General Surgery at Maimonides Medical Center. In 2020, he was named one of NYC’s top LGBTQ+ business leaders by Crain’s New York and he is involved with GLSEN, ACRIA, HRC, and Callen-Lorde’s Howard J. Brown Society. All of these experiences and affiliations have shaped his whole-life approach towards the practice of private surgical care and sexual wellness.

Read More    Dr. Evan Goldstein’s NPI record  Click to send an email to egoldstein@bespokesurgical.com

This page was medically reviewed by Dr. Evan Goldstein on February 5, 2021.



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