What’s Your Number? The Average Number of Sexual Partners by State in 2026

Five years ago, Bespoke Surgical asked Americans a question that almost everyone has been asked at some point in their dating life: “What’s your number?” In our original 2021 study on the average number of sexual partners by state, we explored how Americans viewed sexual history, stigma, and honesty in relationships.

Now, we’re checking back in.

For this updated 2026 survey, we asked more than 2,200 Americans across the country about the number of sexual partners they’ve had, how often they tell the truth about it, and whether a partner’s “body count” still matters in modern dating. We also examined differences across generations, sexual orientations, gender identities, and geography to better understand how attitudes around intimacy continue to evolve.

The results reveal evolving attitudes around honesty, stigma, and sexual history. While many Americans say they are more open-minded about sexual history than in the past, the data suggests people are still editing the truth when the conversation turns personal.

States With the Highest Average Number of Sexual Partners

Americans report having an average of 20.3 sexual partners over their lifetime, up significantly from 14.7 in our 2021 survey. That marks an increase of nearly 40% in just five years.

Some states far exceeded the national average.

Rhode Island reported the highest average number of sexual partners at 52.2, followed closely by Arkansas at 52.0 and New Hampshire at 41.2. Nevada and West Virginia rounded out the top five with averages above 34 partners.

At the other end of the spectrum, Utah reported the lowest average at 9.3 partners, followed by South Dakota, Michigan, Idaho, and Texas.

The differences between states may reflect a combination of factors including dating culture, urban density, age demographics, and how people define sex itself. Definitions varied widely throughout the survey, especially among LGBTQ+ respondents and younger Americans.

Our 2021 survey found similarly dramatic state-by-state differences, but the newest data suggests Americans are becoming more open about discussing sexual experiences, even if complete honesty is still uncommon.

Interestingly, geography also appears to shape perception. Nearly one in four respondents said they believe their number would be different if they had lived somewhere else. Respondents in Hawaii, Kentucky, Nebraska, and Vermont were especially likely to say location influenced their sexual history.

Americans Still Aren’t Fully Honest About Their “Number”

While Americans report averaging just over 20 lifetime sexual partners, they tell romantic partners they’ve had closer to nine. In other words, many people are cutting their actual number in half during conversations about sexual history.

Nearly 3 in 10 Americans admit they have intentionally lowered the number of sexual partners they share with others. Only 4% say they have ever exaggerated their number upward.

Among those who intentionally lower their number, the average adjustment is substantial. Respondents report subtracting an average of 26 partners from the truth.

The reasons appear tied closely to stigma and social expectations. An overwhelming 91% of Americans believe there is still a double standard around how people are judged for their sexual history.

Sexual orientation also revealed some of the largest differences in reported sexual history. Gay respondents reported an average of 85 lifetime sexual partners — more than five times higher than the heterosexual average of 16. 

Gender differences also stood out in the findings. Cisgender men were more than three times as likely as cisgender women to say they had increased their reported number of sexual partners. Meanwhile, women were significantly more likely to prioritize STI testing and safe sex practices when evaluating a partner’s sexual history.

Generational differences revealed another shift. Gen Z respondents lowered their number by a much smaller margin than older generations, suggesting younger Americans may feel slightly less pressure to reshape the truth.

Still, many people continue to treat the conversation carefully. More than half of Americans say a potential partner’s sexual history could make them reconsider dating someone. Gen Z was the most likely generation to view a high number of sexual partners as a dealbreaker.

How Americans Define a “Sexual Partner”

One of the biggest takeaways from the survey was just how differently Americans define sex and sexual experience.

Most respondents said penetrative sex counts toward their number, but definitions expanded significantly across different gender identities and sexual orientations.

Non-binary and genderqueer respondents were far more likely to consider any genital-related activity part of their sexual history compared to cisgender men and women.

“Queer communities have always challenged the traditional idea of what ‘counts’ as sex,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical. “What’s interesting is seeing the rest of the country start to catch up. Younger Americans in particular are approaching intimacy with a much more open-minded attitude, where communication, confidence, and sexual wellness matter a lot more than outdated rules or stigma.”

Some respondents applied even more personal definitions. Fourteen percent of Americans said they only count someone as a sexual partner if they orgasmed during the encounter. Baby Boomers were the most likely generation to use orgasm as the deciding factor.

While most Americans did not consider kissing enough to count someone as a sexual partner, transgender women were significantly more likely than other respondents to include it in their definition.

The data also suggests many Americans continue to actively track their sexual history. One in five respondents admitted they have kept a literal list of their sexual partners, whether mentally, physically, or somewhere in the Notes app on their phone.

Does Your Number Matter in Relationships?

For many Americans, conversations about sexual history remain emotionally loaded.

More than half of respondents said a partner’s number could impact whether they pursue a relationship. At the same time, more than one in three Americans admitted they have never asked a potential partner about their sexual history before having sex.

Attitudes varied sharply by gender and sexual orientation.

Bisexual respondents were less likely than heterosexual respondents to care deeply about a partner’s number. Cisgender women were significantly more likely than cisgender men to ask about sexual history before sex and to prioritize STI testing and safer sex conversations.

Overall, the findings suggest Americans are navigating two competing realities at once. Many people want openness and honesty in relationships, but stigma around sexual history still shapes how those conversations happen.

Closing Thoughts

Five years after our original study, one thing is clear: Americans are still deeply interested in “the number,” even if opinions about what it means continue to change.

For some people, sexual history is an important part of compatibility. For others, it barely matters at all. But across every generation and demographic, honesty, communication, consent, and sexual wellness remain far more important than any single number.

At Bespoke Surgical, we believe conversations around sex should be informed, judgment-free, and rooted in health rather than shame. Whether someone has had one partner or one hundred, what matters most is feeling confident, safe, and empowered in your sexual experiences.

To learn more about sexual wellness, intimacy, and body confidence, explore the latest educational resources from Bespoke Surgical.

Methodology

This study is based on survey responses from more than 2,200 Americans collected during April and May 2026.

Respondents were asked questions about their lifetime number of sexual partners, how they discuss sexual history with romantic partners, how they define sexual experiences, and how sexual history impacts dating and relationships.

Data was analyzed across states, generations, gender identities, and sexual orientations to identify national and regional trends related to intimacy and sexual behavior.

States excluded from state-level rankings due to insufficient survey respondents include Alaska, North Dakota, Washington, D.C., and Wyoming.

This study serves as a five-year follow-up to Bespoke Surgical’s original 2021 “What’s Your Number?” survey.

Fair Use

You are welcome to use, reference, and share non-commercial excerpts of this study with proper attribution. If you cite or cover our findings, please link back to this page so readers can view the full methodology, charts, and context.